You can't special order awesome
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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