i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
