Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
