I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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