He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
