He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
