I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
