Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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