if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
