I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
