FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
