you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
