Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
