IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
