'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
