don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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