Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
