You're so nebulous sometimes
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
