Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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