Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize