You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
