my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
