He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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