Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Your mouth is God's brothel.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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