I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
