What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
