She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
