"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
