Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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