My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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