Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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