So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
