I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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