If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize