sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
