I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
