Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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