He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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