She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
