Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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