I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
