question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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