After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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