didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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