just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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