Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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