Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
