wakey wakey hands off snakey
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
