I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize