Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize