its not stalking. its research.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
