I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
