he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize