I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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