i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
