yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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