Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
