I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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