What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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