You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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