I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
