Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
