my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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