he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
