so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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