dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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