I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
time to smoke my breakfast
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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