You smell like stripper and shame
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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