Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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