Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize