Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
