The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
