I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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