then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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