sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
