My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
